There are dicks carved all over Pompeii, did you know that? Dick jokes have been a part of human history probably for as long as we’ve had dicks.
Keep the long tradition going with a dick magnet. I made one for the head honcho at red squirrel just to make him laugh and then he wanted more. Then I put them on the internet and REALLY got a rise out of people. “Ahhh, how can I get one of these!” “Can you make one that looks like MY ex’s wang?” “If I send you a picture will you make one of my giant hog?” “Can you make one that hangs to the left?” “What the hell is wrong with you?” OH MY GOD PEOPLE OKAY ILL MAKE SOME FOR SALE TOO. I can’t keep up with all these special requests though.
So, just like with Tinder, you do not get to pick which dick shows up. Some of them are soft, some are hard, some have their little turtlenecks on. Some are glazed, some are bare clay with a Greek statue kind of vibe. All different colors, shapes, sizes, and personalities.
The perfect gift for THAT friend. And we all have at least one of them.
Each Blind Date Box will contain 1 hand sculpted porcelain or stoneware dick. Will you get lucky with a Magnum Dickus, or will you end up with a micropenis?!?!?! Only one way to find out. Smash that order button, babe.
There are dicks carved all over Pompeii, did you know that? Dick jokes have been a part of human history probably for as long as we’ve had dicks.
Keep the long tradition going with a dick magnet. I made one for the head honcho at red squirrel just to make him laugh and then he wanted more. Then I put them on the internet and REALLY got a rise out of people. “Ahhh, how can I get one of these!” “Can you make one that looks like MY ex’s wang?” “If I send you a picture will you make one of my giant hog?” “Can you make one that hangs to the left?” “What the hell is wrong with you?” OH MY GOD PEOPLE OKAY ILL MAKE SOME FOR SALE TOO. I can’t keep up with all these special requests though.
So, just like with Tinder, you do not get to pick which dick shows up. Some of them are soft, some are hard, some have their little turtlenecks on. Some are glazed, some are bare clay with a Greek statue kind of vibe. All different colors, shapes, sizes, and personalities.
The perfect gift for THAT friend. And we all have at least one of them.
Each Blind Date Box will contain 1 hand sculpted porcelain or stoneware dick. Will you get lucky with a Magnum Dickus, or will you end up with a micropenis?!?!?! Only one way to find out. Smash that order button, babe.
